How Learning to “Talk Woman” will Triple Your Success with Women
How to talk the strange language called "woman"What most men don’t realize is that men and women don’t talk the same language.
99% of guys only communicate on a verbal level. We take and understand everything exactly as we hear it.
99% of women also communicate on another level, a level that most guys don’t ever get to experience.
Not only do they hear and understand what is being said verbally; they also take into consideration what was behind it.
This is for me the biggest difference in the way we as humans communicate. We have all heard the phrase “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”.
How important is looks?
It’s also the reason that men generally look at porn or goes to strip clubs to get “horny” or turned on, where women read 400+ pages erotic novels instead.
We men operate much more visual, that’s also why we in most cases rank looks much higher than personality when it comes to choosing a partner.
Most women place looks way down the list, and instead places personal attributes such as confidence, humour and so on, on top.
Huuuuge difference.
I asked one of my female friends, Alice, about this.
Me: “Hey Alice, mind answering a quick question?”
Alice: “Sure!”
Me: “All right. Why do you think that men rank looks much higher on lists of what qualities are attractive to them on women, than women does on the qualities they look for in men?”
Alice: “Hmm, I have actually wondered a lot about this myself. I think it’s because most men “feel” their emotions through their penis. And nothing wrong with that! I understand why it can be hard having two heads…
But we only have one, and that’s why we use our brain to make decisions. And sure, we can get turned on by handsome guys, but if he has no personality, isn’t charming etc., looks doesn’t matter.
We want to close our eyes and see our feelings about this particular guy. We’re not seeing him in a sexy fireman costume. OK, I admit it. Maybe sometimes. But most women are turned on by feelings and emotions, not looks. I suppose that’s just the way it is.”
That was a long answer, but it proves my point pretty good.
Women get turned on by feelings and emotions
Women get turned on by their emotions and feelings, men get turned on more visually and physically.
You could also rephrase it and say that women get turned on by “inner impulses”, and men get turned on by “external impulses”.
So for what can we use this knowledge?
A cocky and funny line done to perfection
A few weeks ago, I was out with two of my friends, Tony and Adam.
We were just having a good time, when suddenly we spotted a really gorgeous blonde.
Before I even had time to blink, my friend Tony was all over her.
Being just a meter away, I overheard the whole conversation.
After 30 seconds of normal chit chat, Tony said something that really blew me away.
He stopped talking, gave her the elevator look, paused, and said:
“It would never workout between us. We would fight all the time”.
It was like he had created this little bubble where only the two of them fitted in, and he was creating massive attraction.
After 3 seconds of absolute silence from both parts, she kind of blushed and just laughed.
Then he paused again, creating tension, and said:
“And I would win”.
That’s where he had her. Just 45 seconds into the conversation. He totally had her.
Let me explain what happened:
Tony talked the language called woman!
He said something that she picked up at a subconscious level, and it said all the right things.
By saying that “it would never work between them”, he got her to picture them together.
The “we would fight comment” threw her a little off track and also made her laugh.
The icing on the cake was when Tony said “And I would win”, it was just perfect.
He had created so much sexual tension with those few words, you would only believe it if you was there.
And at no point did he laugh, he barely even smiled. Tony was really really cool and laidback, without being an ass.
Later on, he got tired of her following us all around, and he got rid of her. I don’t think they saw each other again afterwards, but it was just one of those golden moments that I’ll never forget.
Other guys were also listening in, as I wasn’t the only one sitting close.
I could just see that not a single guy “got it”. They had no idea what was going on.
If they were to explain happened between Tony and the girl, I’m sure most of them would have said something stupid like “He just got lucky”.
But no luck was involved!
Tony had total control of the situation, and he knew exactly what he was doing.
So what’s the lesson here?
It’s actually quite simple:
When it comes to dating, things aren’t like they’re supposed to be!
Bringing her flowers and writing her love letters does not create this wonderful thing called attraction.
Buying her dinner (feeding her) isn’t necessarily the best way to win her over.
Haven’t you noticed yourself that it seems like it’s the bad boys and rock stars that always gets the best looking girls?
And there are literally thousands of other things that doesn’t make sense when it comes to sex and dating.
If you’re willing to change your dating life for good, and finally understand all of these things (and take advantage of them), I think you should check out the book called Double Your Dating.
I have reviewed it right here on the blog, and there’s also a direct link so you can read more about it.
It costs 20$, and personally I credit a lot of my success with woman to this one book. Check it out! :)
Before wrapping up for today, I would like to add a few links.
Link love
The first post is a post by Savoy on “Being too nice vs. being a jerk“. It’s basically about putting yourself first instead of others, and how to know when you’ve become too much of a jerk. Good read!
The second post is by Todd on his blog we the change. It’s called “Using Body Awareness For Deeper Meditation“, and talks about meditation, relaxation of mind, and also contains links on how to start meditating.
The third and last post is by Albert from Urbanmonk.com and it’s called “A man’s manual to being a manly man – Introduction: Being a prince“. Really interesting, it seems that I always find great stuff when I digg up his archives :)
Well that was it guys, take care!
Alex
Very nice stuff! A very detailed breakdown, Alex. Thanks for the link, as well :D
Way to some it up with style. I’ve actually said that to an attractive woman before… the whole “it would never work between us… we would always fight.” If it ever fits right into a conversation again, I’ll add the “I would win.”
And you are so right about the jerks always getting the girls. Being the natural asshole that I am, I think it has hurt me at times, but it has helped way more often than it has hurt.
Albert, Thanks and you’re welcome :)
Jason, yeah, I actually think it’s an old “pua routine”, but it’s the way you have to execute it that makes it powerful.
Haha, yeah… Well, that’s life. You might want to check out the post I linked to about being a jerk, it could help getting the best from both sides.
Thanks for your comments guys.
I was telling my cousin sister and some of my lady friends the other day, that guys would usually put how beautiful a woman looks when it comes to attraction and women on the other hand, wouldn’t mind that their partners are not good looking.
It rose my curiousity because I have been wondering why a friend of mine could have a ‘super pretty’ girlfriend when he himself is not that good looking.
Well, maybe I can see why, he’s probably very good at music because he’s a musician. It could it one of the reasons.
Nice post, Alex!
Hey Chee,
Yes that could definately be one of the reasons!
Musicians are generally pretty sexy to a woman, just like firemen or police officers.
Thanks for your kind words mate :)
Great article dude..
Keep up the good work :)
I will William ;)
And thanks man!
Good point about how men are triggered by external impulses while women are the opposite. It’s so true that physical appearence plays such a huge role to us men, any man that doesn’t admit to this is fooling himself with some kind of sensitivity persona.
I think one thing we fail to understand about women at times is how they get so emotional about things. When we are with a beautiful woman all of our feelings come naturally from how turned on we are by her and therefore we feel good.
Obviously, as you went on to say in your article women need much more than looks (albeit they certainly do help I’m sure). Who knows what exactly they want? All we can do is play the game right?!
Btw Alex, I’m thinking about checking out that book, is it really that good?
Sean,
It’s not “the magic pill”. Reading it will not make you a dating god.
But buying it will commit you to start doing the right things. Listening to the audios will start some new thoughts in your mind.
It’s a great way to start out in all this stuff. And as you know, I highly recommend it.
Now to the rest of your comment:
Just as we men are different, so are women. No two women want exactly the same.
But there are some universal truths that attract every women.
Good luck :)
Hi Alex,
What a nice and amazing story. I’m glad that you share it.
Tony is superb. :)
P.S. Haven’t see you “submission” for quite a while. Where have you been?
Oh Alex,
great article :) I guess when it comes to getting it across to the guys, you know how to do it
I agree with your female friend – my girls and I are definitely into disussing male eye candy lol. In fact, encounters make for lots of laughs and storytelling (lets not go into that though haha)
However it HAS to be more than that. I live in NY and in the city there’s plenty of the jet setting good looking guys (for the taking? not so sure, you can never tell)
But I tell you what – the guy with some kind of substance wins every time. Rock stars and such – not only do they have the music thing working for them, there’s also the confident “you’ve gotta have me” attitude (which I guess for some people is jerkdom and it works to some extent for them)
Alas, I kinda look deeper into things though – I can’t help myself. *shrugs* Cocky could make me look but Know yourself or at least want to – and we might have ourself a keeper. That’s where that indispensable confidence would come from in its organic super delish state.
:) me and my post long comments *grin*
Raymond, I’m right here ;)
Just quite busy with my personal life at the moment.
Glad you appreciate it mate, always nice to hear from you.
JEMi, aww. Thanks!
Haha :) I love your comments.
Of course substance wins over looks. A relationship based on looks will, funny enough, be very flat and materilistic. And what happens when one of the parts suddenly gets old and ugly?
Not good.
A relationship should always be based on loooove baby. Now that’s a keeper.
while looks arent AS important to women they are still a sign of high self esteem which is important to women. Dressing great wont get you great with women but dressing badly will hinder your chances with them. Its not everything but it is important.
I think looks have to come in to it.
A woman will never look at you twice unless she has some sort fo physical attraction towards you.
On the other hand I think once you get to know a person a bond can form.
I definitely agree with you Alex. Well said!
Jay, no matter how ugly you are, you can still attract women. I see where you’re getting at with “some sort” of attraction, but it doesn’t have to be about looks.
It can be about the eye contact, his body language, and the way he’s dressed.
I have personally seen dwarfs get great girls. And not because I have anything against dwarfs, but lots of these guys are not particularly GQ cover models.
They have a huge personality on the other hand, and that’s what counts the most.
Hi.
I’ve just discovered my photo as an illustration for that blog entry.
I would not mind you to use this, even without having asked for permissionut, provided that at least you credit it and put a link to the flickr website from when you “borrowed” it, since it is a picture protected by the Creative Commons rights.
Thanks…
Ho, shit, i’ve just noticed there was a credit at the end of the entry.
Ok then, but next time it would be nicer to ask before using a protected pic.
Cheers
e-chan,
I’m sorry for the inconvenience.
And thanks for letting me use it! It’s a fantastic picture :o)
You should start a correspondence school and teach “Womanese”. I’ll be your first customer!
I have an impression that “It would never workout between us. We would fight all the time” was taken from a pick-up book, probably “The Game” (I’m not sure if it was this book). Anyway, it’s still a good example on how to talk with women on this “different level”. Thanks for this article – got me thinking!
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