How To Combine Arrogance and Humour to Create Attraction
In this post I’m going to talk a little about confidence and humour, how they can be combined, and how and when (not) to use them.
Asking a girl something like “Did you just check out my ass?!” just out of the blue shows her that you have very two important values as a man; confidence and humour.
At the same time, you also show that you understand social dynamics, in the sense that it should be YOU who was checking out HER ass, and not the other way around. This is great stuff.
It should, like everything else, be said with a sly smile and a small glimpse in the eyes. David DeAngelo calls it Cocky and Funny, and it really works magic.
Arrogant AND funny
Another example:
(While talking to a girl in a bar) “Hey, do you often pick-up and seduce guys at bars? Because if you do… I just want you to know that I’m not that easy. You would have to buy me at least… 3 drinks before I would even consider splitting a cab with you.”
But there is a fine balance between being just arrogant and being funny at the same time. When you neglect the funny part, you’ll look like a complete ass, and without the arrogance/confidence, you’ll probably look like a clown.
This kind of humour shouldn’t be used all the time, but rather be sprinkled out evenly throughout your conversation with a girl.
This way you can also ask her about more mundane stuff, and actually get to know her, without it being boring.
Example:
You: “So, what do you do to bring food on the table at home? You DO have a HOME, right? When I first met you, you kind of looked like a homeless girl… But now I’m more in doubt… That dress actually doesn’t look so homemade up front.”
(This should of course be said to a girl who looks absolutely stunning)
What goes through her mind
At first, she thinks that you’re just asking her what she’s doing for a living. Booooring! Most women are not interested in talking about stuff like this when you first meet.
But then you go about and make it funny, and the story gets a totally different end to it. You suddenly gets interesting to talk to, and you’ll probably get a much better answer to your original question (“what do you do”).
She’ll also see that you understand social value. You have the confidence and nerve NOT to compliment her right away on her looks, and on top of that, you make fun of her.
This might sound a little crazy, but women love this. Actually, what works with women is very counter-intuitive from what SHOULD work logically. If you haven’t realized this yet, I think it’s time to read some of my earlier posts, or to get started with David DeAngelo.
The formula is really easy:
Arrogance + Humour = Attraction.
And attraction is something I want to talk about another day.
Till’ then guys!
Photo by dark_mephi.
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I agree with arrogance + humor. But I’m a guy who’s maybe a bit above average… a fairly good looking guy. Combine that with spiky hair and the way I dress and some girls think I’m a total player, which I’m not. Sometimes I find that I have to be really careful with the arrogant side. It’s a real balance that you can overdo if you’re not careful.
Alright here’s my two cents *grin*
I hate to admit you’re right :) I thought about it. I’m a total girl – some of this stuff has charmed me. BUT there is a certain extent that should be addressed.
It has to be executed just right right because often times guys like Jason (the other commenter) who do that often seem .. well.. yeah – the total player type who walks around doing that all day. Unfair, yes. But true. perhaps that comes from the few who actually do seem like everyone is target practice (throw a whoooole buncha arrows and SURELY you’ll catch someone right?) Then there are the other guys who just won’t quit and you wanna just swat them like a fly. *curls her pretty fist lol*
I think what you’re getting it is just the right touch of confidence is just insanely attractive. Some people have that funny bone character and it just really works for them (yes, even the lookers)
Some have that easy going, wittiness about them
Regardless, a smile works wonders and confidence is just very very attractive on a man *fans herself*
I guess one other thing that matters is You don’t want to seem practiced/fake
even if you ARE fakin’ it til you make it.
look at YOU teaching the masses. You almost make me want to check prospect’s feed reader or somethin’
:-P
Yeah, you’re totally right about that. But being looked upon as a player is still better than being looked upon as a needy wuss boy.
It’s all about finding just the right balance, but I definately think you have all the right means to do just that Jason ;)
JEMi, this is all so great to hear!
What you need to keep in mind (as a guy) is to not take yourself too seriously. This is really important!
Once again really fun to read, and thanks a lot for your comment :)
good article. A great way to pratice getting the balance down is to hang out with friends that are sarcastic and ball busting.
Also, watch the show californication. Its a great show to learn the funny and the cocky.
An example from the show. The main character was with his ex-gf talking to a principle about their daughter. The principle remarks that she’s a beautiful girl-“she gets it from her mother” he says as he turns to his the mother,smiles and then leans in and says “the makeup and the slutty clothes”
Alex, thanks for the comment and the tips.
Californication is great. Cracks me up while educating… Priceless.
Cocky and funny as David DeAnglo calls it is amazing.. got a cute girl from work on a date because of it.
Nice blog
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Here’s a good one: DON’T BE A FUCKIN’ JERK! This is SHIT advice…. It;s disrespectful and offensive. I AM a girl! Don’t get me wrong I LOVE a god laugh… but this is DEROGATORY.
The last thing we need is schooling even more crap guys into be even more crap.
Additionally, as a WOMAN psychologist who studies evolutionary psychology, I will inform you not only as a woman, but as a professional, that this type of approach is only successful about 8% of the time. As it turns out, women do not like to be insulted.
MEN- because most of you are desperate idiots who know nothing about women, I’m going to do you a favor. I am going to give you the best advice of your life- It will get you laid- and then some.
For startsies, I’d like to let you in on a little secret about what ACTUALLY attracts a woman, or rather, what doesn’t.
Your looks.
As it turns out, women tend not to care about the things men think they care about. Interestingly, women don’t even care if you’re bald. In fact, 97% of women find it sexy. True story. My husband is bald, and he’s a stud. You can be a poor, loser with no friends and still pick up women. If you listen to me and stop being an asshole.
Here’s what actually attracts a woman. These are called attraction cues, they are subliminal, extremely powerful, and scientifically proven to work.
1. Greet her with “Hello,” instead of “Hi,” or “Hey.” It’s a little more formal, and it will get her attention.
2. Look at her lips. Not all the time, but at choice moments, when you think she might notice, then redirect to her eyes. This is a social cue. It will inspire her to imagine being intimate with you.
4. DO NOT turn your chest directly toward her. This is an unintentional cue of neediness, and it will turn her off immediately.
5. Did you notice I skipped #3? Pay the fuck attention.
6. Have you ever noticed that some men get ALL the action? They have a lot of confidence, but don’t trick yourself into a false cause fallacy. The real reason women want them isn’t because they’re confident. Women want them because OTHER WOMEN WANT THEM. Make her think other women want you, and you’re in. Quite literally.
You’re welcome. For more, buy my book bitches.