Meet Girls at the Video store at 11 pm on a Saturday – On How To be a Social Guy

Last night I met a beautiful girl named Lisa in the local video rental store. It was amazing.

I had every excuse in the book not to walk up and talk to her: I had been up for more hours than I could possibly count because I returned from my trip to India that morning (Hard to sleep in the plane when you’re a tall guy like me!)

So not only was I really tired; I also looked like a mess. My clothes was rather dirty, my hair looked awful, and I just wanted to go home, watch a movie and fall asleep.

But there she was, looking at some romantic comedy all by herself.

First I had all these fears running through my head: Is she going to reject me? Am I going to be humiliated? Will she laugh at me? Will it be awkward?I took a deep breath, and realized that my thoughts had no base in reality. I made friends with the fear.

And then I walked up right next to her and picked the same movie that she had in her hands. After skimming the backside for roughly 10 seconds, I asked her: “Is this any good?” It was such a simple “opener”.

I looked at her and smiled. She smiled too.

The whole meeting went something like this:

We talked a little about the movie. We then agreed that it looked too goofy. So we walked around the store for a couple of minutes to find a better one. We found one. Talked some more.

I asked her what she was doing at a video store on a saturday night. I found out she was also tired coming back from New York just a few hours earlier. We agreed to chat more about movies and travelling another day over a cup of tea. Exchanged numbers.

I just had this incredible feeling in my stomach on my way home. The whole conversation just went so smooth and natural. I never got to see the movie I rented though; I was too tired when I got back home.

Always be socially prepared

This is just one of those stories. You always have to be prepared to meet people! If I had excused myself by saying that I was too tired, I would probably never have seen her again.

There is a saying that goes something like “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”. There’s a lot of truth in that. Another good one is this: “Every friend you have was a stranger before you met him. (or her, in this case)”

It’s all about taking some chances in life.

Who cares if you screw up? Seriously! It happens to everyone. Look at every failure as a win instead of a loss. Now you know more about how not to do what you were trying to do.

It’s brilliant. Even the best soccer players only have a pass completion rate of 60-70%. You really don’t have to “win” all the time to be good. Not at all.

Start a conversation in your local Blockbuster

Be interested. This is really key. Listening is so important.

Walk up to someone and ask them politely about something. Or just say hello and smile.

You can ask about anything related to movies: Do you have any recommendations? Something here I shouldn’t rent? The question isn’t the most important thing, it’s the answer.

Be social

I don’t think I would have had the nerve to go up and talk to Lisa if it wasn’t because I am already a social guy. It would have felt weird. But it wasn’t weird at all to start a conversation, it was incredibly fun and simple.

And that’s because I have done it a thousand times.

When I started getting this area of my life handled, I talked to a lot of people. Old, fat, ugly, men, children, women, dwarfs, everyone. Talking to children is hilarious by the way.

I started out with really small conversations. After a while they got longer. It’s actually a lot of fun!

You too can be more social

Start out easy. Just get used to talking to strangers. A good way is to talk to people in stores and shops. Say hi, smile, ask about where something is located and say thanks. So simple. After a while you’ll be able to talk to more people. It’s all about getting used to opening your mouth to strangers.

Commit to it. Say to yourself that you’re going to talk to 60 strangers in 30 days. Whatever!

Just do something about it.

Always ask questions, and listen to the answers. Always listen! It’s so powerful to be a good listener.

Think about it; We learn to speak, we learn to talk, but we don’t learn to listen. Do yourself the favour to really hear what people are saying. It opens up whole new worlds of communication.

That’s it for now guys, hope you enjoyed. And I’m glad to be back!

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Image by Beija Floor.