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You Made the Right Decision

Heartburn Even this little guy made the right decision

Sometimes you sit and wonder whether or not you did the right thing in a given situation. If you find yourself in this position often, the following five minutes of your time will be well spent. In this article, I will examine the question: ”what is the right decision?”

My philosophy on the subject is actually quite simple. The right decision will always be the one that you made. Let me explain.

With every decision we make, both small and big, we guide our lives in a new direction. I am a big believer in chaos-theory, and therefore think that even just a small movement or a few words can change your fate drastically.

When you decide that you want to go for a walk, instead of let’s just say watch the game on television, you change your fate and with that you also change a lot of other people’s lives (in some way).

The deserted island

The way I see it, this even applies if you’re all alone on a deserted island. Perhaps, if you decide to go to the left to find food instead of the right, you wake up a bird who wouldn’t have woke up if you had just gone to the right. This bird then flies to a city and takes a dump on a man who is just crossing the street. He gets distracted by the sudden icky feeling on his head, and doesn’t see that a truck is driving straight against him. Bam, traffic accident. Which then leads to another thousand things. I think you get my point.

Now, you might ask yourself how I can tell that little story, and still say that every decision made was the right decision. Just hear me out, it will become crystal-clear in just a second.

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It’s all for the greater good

In my world, everything, both good and bad, happens for the greater good. I am a firm believer in that, even when something supposedly bad happens to you, it was meant to all along and happened because of a series of choices you made. Those choices were all, just as all choices in general are, the best you could muster with your given resources at the time. So when you stand in this bad situation now, it is your own fault. Completely. You bear full responsibility.

New possibilities

But that does not mean that your bad situation really is that bad. I think that everything works out the way that it is supposed to in the end. With every new bad situation, a new path opens up with new possibilities. When you get fired, you are available for a new position. I am not saying that it is all good when something terrible happens – not at all. But it is not all bad either.

When a person close to you dies, or you get fired, or get dumped, or fails a test, or whatever, I see it as if you are given new opportunities to make your life, and the lives of others, as amazing as you possibly can.

Before we start putting this into practice, let us examine the philosophy behind my words just a little bit closer.

The philosophy behind

I don’t know whether or not god exists. I think that this ’choice’ is up to every individual. But I believe that there is a higher power. You can call it god, you can call it energy, you can call it karma, you can call it whatever you want. But it rewards effort, good intentions and hard work. That’s what I believe.

When you decide to pick up some trash from the ground and throw it out in a nearby trash can, you made the right decision. You opened up for just a little more charity in your own life by giving it first.

If you decided not to pick up the trash, you still made the right decision. It might not lead to better things in your life and in the lives of those around you immediately, but in the end, it will have helped you on the right path in some way still.

And that’s why you made the right decision, always, because there is no real right or wrong. There is only what you did – that is all that will be remembered.

To step out of the mumbo jumbo and become realistic, I honestly do not really think that ’something’ watches over us and defines our destiny and rewards us for doing good etc.

But. And this is a big but, because it is here it all gets tied together. It helps me. I only think this way because it is optimal for me and my way of living. Not to sound too cynical, but I do not really care whether or not god exists. It doesn’t matter. What I care about is results.

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Results results results

That is all I can use. I am egoistic and put myself first. But with this philosophy in the back pocket, it does not mean that I can’t put other people’s wants and needs before my own. This is because I belive that it goes back to me in the end anyway, and hey, the feeling of helping people genuinely is a good feeling too.

When you get down to it, it is a much better feeling than standing on the top of the world with a lot of money and power and all of those things… But all alone at the same time. It is all ego. You can never open up to love if you don’t give it.

But you can live egoistically, and still not live through your ego.

You made the right decision

I did it again. I got off-track. But that’s just how it is – when I start writing, the ideas flow out. I rarely edit, and I don’t give what I write much thought.

But to recap: you made the right decision. It doesn’t matter if your decision caused death and destruction, because when it all goes down, it was just a small thing leading to everything becoming what it is. It is not right or wrong, it just is.

There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Just accept your decision with all of your heart and see it for what it is.

To quit the mumbo jumbo again real quick and put it into practice, I don’t care if this philosophy is real or right or anything. I just care about me, my happiness and my results.

One thing less to worry about

Not having doubt about whether or not you made the right decision frees up a lot of things in your life. At least, you have one thing less to worry about. When you have absolutely no regrets, you can live your life free and with full vigor.

On a closing side-note, decisions you made which had bad consequences are good decisions anyway because there is an opportunity for you to learn something.

Always stride for your best and be as strong as possible. Open up and be honest. Accept whatever happens for what it is, learn from it, and move on.

Thanks for reading,
Alex Kay

First image by KhayaL. Second and Third image by Anna.

Get Your Ex Back

16 thoughts on “You Made the Right Decision”

  1. Leo

    your article is so cool and true…
    what a shame that my english is so bad, i can´t write all that i´m thinking about it :P
    Thanks!!

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  3. Rich

    Hey Alex, I really enjoy your blog, when are you going to get back to writing on a regular basis?

    Reply ↓
  5. Sunti (Suntea)

    You remind me of myself, when I’m not feeling blue over an ex. I can’t follow my own advice when I’m not thinking clearly and coming here helps like a mirror. I always give my friends great advice but when I feel like crap I can’t think clearly. Thanks for writing everything down it’s kinda like a rewind through my head of what I would say to someone else. Great stuff & keep writing.

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  6. Alex

    Hello Sunti,

    Thanks for the kind words. Keeping your head at the right place while feeling like crap can be tough, but can also yield a lot of benefits.

    Take care, and when you are feeling down, take a step back and try to look at it all with a broader perspective and in a broader context. That should help you to look at it all in a more objective way.

    Alex

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  8. Yavor

    Alex,

    I think your quote sums it up nicely man: “Always strive for your best and be as strong as possible.”

    Just do your best and let it go. Cool stuff,

    y.

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  9. Sergio

    A great topic with, sadly, a little bit too superficial presentation of it.

    If you don’t mind, Alex, I will paraphrase your notes the way I see things, when considering this topic.

    First of all, I never classify human behavior using Biblical taxonomy of “good” and “evil”. Although, using this conventional method gets you fast beyond racking your brains about philosophy of “being”, alas, this method is also biased and gets you sometimes to be blinded to what you really are.
    For me, we are animals. In light of theory of evolution, we can describe ourselves as adaptive or maladaptive individuals. What we do, whether helps or inhibits us becoming better individuals of the species, and thus the surrounding social pack will whether cheer for us or deplore us.

    Then we get to the chaos theory. To me, things are random, but our wonderful brains find yet again another way to see logical clusters in recurrent events: you went for a walk, ’cause you had a head ache after your neighbor tried to fix that picture frame on the wall using his hammer for the last two hours; you get outside and at the coffee shop meet a girl, you smile, she smiles; a year down the road, you’re getting married. Surely you would think that it’s a matter of consciously appreciated hard work to get things done, but what makes the randomness so cool that every single everyday interaction between with your girlfriend, that every smile, every party, cuddle in bed, or getting alone with the parents is what made all that into one (in our minds) logical cluster called a relationship. Not even mentioning your neighbor whom you should be thanking for being so persistent and not giving up with that darn picture frame.

    Combining theories together, we may get to the point, where things can get a bit tricky or heavy, however, the philosophy remains simple, just the way Alex said it. You do what you do in this world of randomness and try to adapt. When you really screw up (like breaking up with someone, getting yourself fired and so on), you not only tend to characterize your failure as an effect that will go on influencing your life for some time now, you also tend to rationalize the probable alternative, these “what ifs…?”. But you know what, that “what if” is random. How can you be sure that being with that very girl you broke up would have been the better for you in a long run, or how can you be sure that keeping your old job would have led you to a better career you could have otherwise?

    On closing remarks, I guess everyone can understand that life is not easy, but not many can appreciated the randomness of life and simplicity of our actions. Hating yourself for being “bad” and trying to make sense of “logical clusters of our live events” is just being too human, keeping the pace of randomness and trying to adapt to every opportunity you’re presented is maybe all you need.

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  12. Koji

    Hi Alex,

    I have been reading your articles since I have moved into America. They are very inspiring and wonderful article. I am only 22, but have worked and studied in many different countries, such as china, japan, and United States. People say travel can broaden your horizon, but the more place that I go, the less self-esteem I am. Every decision I make in different countries just seem wrong or weird in some countries, which I thought I did right. And I start to loose my self. I don’t know what to believe any more and I can’t trust myself or my decision anymore. I understand these kind of question’s answer can only seek by myself. Could you give me some advise please on how to gain confidence? Thank you.

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  13. dave

    Unfortunately I can’t agree. I have made a terrible mistake, 2 years ago, in letting the girl I love go. I broke up with her for stupid reasons and have regretted it every day ever since. She is now pregnant with another man, and I really wish it was me having a baby with her. She was so special, I think of her all the time. That was an awful decision, I can barely live with it, and no good has come out of it for me…

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  14. jik

    actually,
    some who give some comments here,
    actually have similar thinking with you already,
    so they agree with that,

    so do i,

    i remember what master kifu from kungfu panda said,

    there’s no good news or bad news, there’s only news …

    :D

    Reply ↓
  15. jake

    i just found your blog today and i liked to read all those advices and all that you write about thoughs over the life so keep doing this helps a lot of people to keep head up high and meets their decision with no regrets
    Best Regards from panama

    Reply ↓
  16. Patrick

    hey alex, i have read couple of your articles. I really enjoy reading them and I think we both share the same kind of belief and philosophy. The point i want to say is, i thought I was reading some life changing articles instead of dating advices. It was a big surprise to me that you actually combine both things together neat and nicely. This is actual my very first time to leave a comment on a blog. Gread job bro!

    Reply ↓